Craving: Nerd Glasses

{Scooby-Doo's bespectacled wunderkind brainiac Velma, rocking a classic autumn palette, turtleneck with pleated skirt, enviable rust-colored knee-socks, and sensible chunky Mary Janes. Photo credit: www.thirdraildesignlab.com }
What is it about the right pair of over-sized glasses that instantly communicates intelligence, nerdy avant-garde swag, and the sort of hipster iconoclasm that doesn't give a flying fig what the generic rest of the world thinks? The continual rise and fall of this trend always intrigues me. My current 8th grade students trade their well-smudged, well-loved, colorful checkered pairs back and forth the way kids of my generation circulated slap bracelets - often ironically sacrificing clear vision for their sartorial elan. This is one of the cravings that I've either lightly indulged or tried to resist since the age of 11, with varying degrees of success ... and failure. Unlike braces, which I had from the 6th to 10th grades (here I think the acronym "FML" is entirely appropriate), glasses always seemed enviable and covetable on other girls, but my vision was always just short of actually requiring assistance. In college, I had a pair of faux tortoiseshell rectangle-shaped frames, which I earnestly thought lent a certain sexy-librarian je ne sais quois; I wore them any time I was late to class, hoping they would give the impression that I had tumbled out of bed, had "no time to put in my contacts," and rushed helter-skelter across campus. Quite a leap in thought process, but then I often made those in my undergrad years. In adult life, I have an actual prescription pair by Ann Klein that I love. Still, I had a hankering for something larger, more unabashedly excessive and superfluous, more "man-repeller chic," the look championed by such fashion darlings as Alexa Chung:

{Alexa Chung, looking like a bohemian secretary in large cat-eye frames. Photo credit - www.the-electric.blogspot.com}

{Rebecca (Scarlett Johansson) and Enid (Thora Birch) doing dark comedy proud in Ghostworld, which I watched way too many times the summer after high school.}

{Eternal It Girl Chloe Sevigny, doing both a literal and figurative wink-and-a-smile in her bi-focal-styled glasses. Photo credit: www.wowie.ie}

{Alexa again in some of my favorite items - nerd glasses, accent belt, long, eclectic neck-wear, slouchily sexy loose tunic top. Photo credit: www.ericchristian.wordpress.com }

{Multi-hyphenate comedi-dancer-singer-sexy-symbol-and-cool-guy-at-large Justin Timberlake doing the dapper thing. Photo credit, www.nyfashionmag.com }

{I satisfied my craving at Claire's for under $10.00. Jessica Simpson leopard scarf, H&M long-sleeved tee, Dolce Vita booties, American Rag jeggings.}

I won't go too far by buying a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and sneering at other people's iPod playlists, but I did find a super-hipster-esque pair to throw in the mix just for fun once in awhile. I'm thankful that I didn't run into any students where I bought these, since that store is decidedly for children, period. (I may no longer have braces but am still fairly adept at frequent self-humiliation.) The nerdy-chic spin is a lot of fun, and I really do love the purposely unconventional, funkily man-repelling look, but like so many men, my husband hates it and demanded that I reserve this particular accessory exclusively for outings with my girlfriends. He threatened to design a shirt that reads "She's On the Rag" (one of his much tamer suggested captions) with a giant arrow, and to wear it anytime I attempt to don these in public around him. I told him this was entirely fair.

To my man - honey, I know you hate it, but the occasional dose of man-repeller fashion is in the rotation to stay. Mea culpa! (See how I said that instead of just "my bad?" The glasses up my intelligence through, um, osmosis.) --xoxo